Lyrical Wondering

Poetry

One day will this all make sense

Will my wishes become reality

Will my purpose have found me

Will my understanding prove true

Will I be beside you?

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It’s Yours

Poetry

My reservoir is empty

All I can do is pray

Coming to you broken

Lord have your way

My shield is broken

My defense fallen down

I’ve given up fighting

Its Yours to win or lose now

“The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14

Victory

Poetry

I’ve seen the dark on the darkest of nights

I’ve seen the depth of my sin

I’ve seen the pain and endless pursuit

Of many beginnings and ends

Futile and fruitless

These attempts on our own

But we don’t have to do it alone

With You all things are possible

No enemy, no trap, no sin

Can hinder Your will, Your plan for us

So let the victory begin!

You unshackle chains

Unravel lies

Strengthen the weak

And the poor

You mend our hearts

Restore our vision

Show us the way

And open the door

With You all things are possible

No enemy, no trap, no sin

Can hinder Your will, Your plan for us

So let the victory begin!

Try

Poetry

Once upon a time I loved you

Then it all came undone

Before I’d look for you in the morning

Now from you to the nights I’d run

Talks I loved now drowned in silence

Your arms nowhere to be found

What ever happened and where did it go?

To this paper are we really bound?

The words start to trickle

A little at a time

The truth now painting a picture

Of what happened in this heart of mine

Why now? Why not then?

Are the angry words we can cry

But now is better than never

And we’ve got to give this a try

A try for us

A try for them

Walking in faith

Trusting in Him

Greater

Poetry

Cleanse my heart

Purify my mind

To be untainted by the sins

I leave behind

The deception is strong

But Your revelation’s in sight

My sin once heavy

Now by Your power made light

John 16:33

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

I Lay

Poetry

My weights are heavy

And my words are insufficient

To bring about any change

So in Your arms I lay

Unworthy of this love

You’ve so freely given

I shackle myself to shame

You still hold me and promise

To give me a new name

From trapped to freed

Ashamed to forgiven

Weighted down and burdened

To a child of God

My thoughts alone can’t bring this change

So under Your wings I lay

This is Grace

Poetry

During some time of reflection today, I found myself thinking “wow, I have been blessed to be given so many weaknesses!” Wait, what? That sounds a little backwards. But the thought process that led to that conclusion is this: In every weakness I’ve experienced, I find it very hard to pass judgement on someone else for the same offense. I have too much understanding as to how they could be in that situation or that struggle, how the weaknesses occur and trap us and how those situations don’t solely define who the person is inside. This frees me from feeling any right or obligation to judge them. And when judgement is removed, love and good intentions seem to fill its place.

“Do you judge another people? You your-selves have done wrong things. So when you judge others, you judge yourselves, because you do the same things. You judge them and yet you do the same things.” (Romans 2:1)

Thank You for my weaknesses

For they have taught me grace

So let us give grace

and when we can’t…

let us give love

and when we can’t…

let us leave them in the hands

of the One who can and does.

Coming Out of the Dark

Poetry

Do I need to explore this cave

where all my darkness lies?

The entrance is so slippery

Yet has appeal, a clever disguise

Are there answers inside?

Anything I need to know?

How and when did it get here

This caveat inside my soul

Why have I always kept it up

Visited it, even made it my home!

There must be a comfort

In running back to the dark

It’s easy and familiar

Tempting me not to go too far

In the light, there is work to do

Challenges to face and overcome

Relationships need mending

Emotions become burdensome

But how will change occur

If I keep running back to my cave

Convincing myself there’s treasure there

Fooling myself to stay enslaved

There’s a whole new world

Outside this cave to explore

And once my eyes adjust

I’m sure I’ll be ready for more

Rebuilding Our Home

Poetry

I saw gaping holes in the walls of my home

Where wind and water came through

The wind would howl, the curtains blow

Yet there was nothing I could do

My hands were not skilled for this

The damages beyond my scope

If left to fix this on my own

I’d have no reason to hope

Still, I worked day and night

Patching where I could

Eliciting help from others

From anyone who would

But the storms kept coming

Faster than the repairs were made

Ready to give up

I called it a day

Then my Father showed up

Ah, yes the Carpenter!

He said, move aside dear

I’ll take it from here.

His hands began working

With such skill and ease

I knew He was the expert

Of whom we had need

He first revealed the patches

That were causing only harm

He saw the break in the foundation

And faulty wiring in our alarm

Yes this job was way too big for me

His expertise far surpassed my own

And here He was now helping us

And would not stop til he rebuilt our home.

Psalm 127:1

“….Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain….”

A Prayer

Poetry

Thank You for seeing me

Knowing me

Loving me

Show me Your heart today

So I can love others the same way.

John 13:34

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

Jeremiah 31:3

The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.

Turning Back to You

Poetry

I’ve doubted and scrutinized my faith

I’ve torn it to pieces

Looking for evidence, looking for proof

Asking for confirmation from You

 

So many days have passed with no answer

No miraculous light

Just the drone of my questions, sin’s pain

And this seemingly endless fight

 

Then I turned around away from my search

Back to the place I knew You were

All along there waiting for me to see

It was never You hiding, it was me

 

My doubt now dissolved in the wake of Your spirit

Your loving kindness carries me away

To a place I’m reminded of Your truths

To a strengthened faith and a brand new day.

 

Lamentations 3:22-23

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Thorns of the Flesh

Poetry

Thorns of the Flesh

This thorn, this burden buried deep inside

It’s painful removing and taking so long

I just want to run and hide

Will you pull it out, let me bleed

I’m done with this, so tired

Ready to be freed.

You can live with this thorn my child

It will keep you running to me.

2 Corinthians 12:8-9

8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

Love Song

Poetry

For all the times You spoke

And I didn’t hear

The times You tried to get my attention

And I came nowhere near

For the times You shouted

Waving Your hands in the air

And in the silence You still whispered

Reminding me You cared

For the times You held me gently

As I wept in Your arms

The times You sent me warnings

To keep me out of harm

The times You’ve made me laugh

With Your wit, humor and charm

Your love, Your strength, Your kindness

Because that’s just Who You are.

Psalm 63:3

Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.

Free

Poetry

How free would I be if worth wasn’t measured in friendship

My value wasn’t defined by other’s views

My fulfillment not met by earthly dreams

My heart’s needs met by only You

How clear would my vision be if I erased the clutter

How light the load if I let the weights go

How patient the wait if I fully surrendered

How complete the path if I trusted all You told

Matthew 11:29-30

“Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

As I’m Walking

Analogies

Didi lived down the street from me when I was a kid and she had honeysuckle vines in her backyard.  I loved the smell and loved getting to eat the flowers.  It was a really nice childhood memory.  30 plus years later, I came across a beautiful smell in the air when taking an evening stroll and I thought “there must be a honeysuckle vine nearby!”  It had been so long since those days of honeysuckle in the backyard I couldn’t even remember for sure what they looked like but because I had no other frame of reference for the strong yet sweet fragrance, I had undoubtedly decided this was honeysuckle I was smelling.  And for awhile all of my walks were filled with the smell of sweet honeysuckle.

Until one day someone I was walking with corrected me and explained the flower I was smelling wasn’t honeysuckle at all.  It was jasmine.  All this time!  They have some similarities and both emit a stronger fragrance at night but they are actually two different species.  And while the petals of the honeysuckle are edible, jasmine can be quite toxic to humans if ingested.  And I wondered… in how many other areas of my life am I believing I am enjoying the sweet nectar of honeysuckle all the while I am ingesting toxic jasmine petals?

Have I mistaken lust for love? Acceptance from others as self worth?  Have I misinterpreted setbacks as failure?  And looked at my emotions as a compass?   The smell of honeysuckle tends to pop up in areas filled with immaturity or painful past experiences.  It may be where there is incomplete information or in areas that are in need of the most growth.  And this is where it’s important that on my evening strolls, I’m walking with Someone who knows the difference.    

I thought I knew what was around me

I thought I recognized the smell

But truly I was mistaken

All this time I couldn’t tell

But the One right beside me

Began pointing out the truth

He corrected me and taught me

All the things I’d misconstrued

So now as I am walking

I make sure He’s close by

To teach in each new fragrance

What is truth and what’s a lie

John 16:13  When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.

He Gives Freedom

Poetry

My sin is not greater

My gifts are not lesser

Than all those who

have gone before

Equal in measure

For the standard of Christ

Is the only judgement

That matters any more

Galatians 3:28

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

James 2: 12-13

12 Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the Law that gives freedom. 13 For judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

 

 

 

His Love Never Fails

Poetry

Grateful no matter where I go

You’re with me

No matter what stage, what season

You are there

Running into Your arms

I see all You teach me

Through these storms

My stubbornness gets shattered

My treasures all tattered

My humility is deepened

My sins are forgiven

Because …

“Your Love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me.”

(One Thing Remains)

Romans 8:38-39

38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord

Step Out in Faith

Poetry

Can I dedicate my life to You no matter what comes my way

Can I make You my life’s purpose

And hold my faith steady when I’m tempted to stray

Can I leave behind all my doubts

Never to look back on them again

Can I follow You and defend Your truth

To the very end?

Can I stop looking at other’s approval

And adjusting myself to gain that win

And instead look only to You

No matter the circumstances I find myself in

Can I trust in You to meet my needs

Before I see them being met

Can I trust Your plan and step out in faith

Without view of any safety nets?

I have a seed of faith

And oh how small it feels some days

But You say a seed is all I need

To move mountains as I pray

So here we go little seed

Show me the way

Matthew 17:20

He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

 

Questions 

Poetry, Thoughts

I just found this poem/song from 2006 while going through old journals and I don’t think I’ve ever posted it. Lots and lots of questions in these old journals and it’s encouraging to see how many of those questions have since received answers or just gone away. It’s a lovely reminder that seasons are just that… seasons – they don’t last forever – they change. Harsh winters do turn into beautiful springs. Happy Sunday 💗

A pretty face – torn up heart

Missing pieces – falling apart

Looking for a seamstress

Holding the thread

Where do I begin?

So many blessings

But thoughts so confused

Wanting serenity

But it will only approach

Like the waves

Calm this sea

Make sense out of me

Put to rest my questions

Lay out Your path before me

I am at the brink of despair

With so many doubts of why I am here

Put an end to this wrestle

Please calm me, wash me

and my fears<<<<
gt;

Tested Faith

Poetry

In the darkness, hope becomes visible

It’s the glimmer of light around the bend

In doubt, faith becomes tangible

Turning trials into a dearest friend

James 1:2-3

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance

Remember in the Dark

Poetry

I came into His inner room

And heard what He had to say

It spoke deeply to my heart

His love and grace were bright as day

Then as I was walking

Things started turning dim

Obstacles began contrasting

All I’d heard from Him

And then I could finally see

That this is where true faith begins

Luke 12:3

What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs.

You Say

Poetry

My shame tries to claim me

Tries to define and name me

But You have something

different to say

You say I’m a child of God

My past tries to haunt me

Tries to destroy and taunt me

But You have something

Different to say

That I am forgiven and loved

Not chained to my sin

But to Your presence within

I am free to let go and grow

Galatians 3:26

So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith,

Ponder – a song

Poetry

pon·derˈpändər/

verb

1. think about (something) carefully, especially before making a decision or reaching a conclusion.                   

When I was a little girl

And fairytales were my whole world

I stopped to ponder You

Nighttimes wishin on a star

Wondering where and who You are

I stopped to ponder You

Struggling and livin on a dime

Lost and cryin all the time

I stopped to ponder You

Had some kids of my very own

No longer feeling all alone

I stopped to ponder You

Getting older every day

Wondering if I’ve lost my way

I stop to ponder You

Answers still not comin round

Hoping we’re all eternity bound

I stop to ponder You

This whole world leaves gifts and pain

It’s the journey and the friends we gain

Yet no matter where I am and what I do

I stop to ponder You

Struggle 

Poetry

There’s a little extra pain in my tears

A little more sorrow in my heart

The struggle is getting the best of me 

Each day I’m not sure how to start

One breath at a time

I slowly move forward and pray

That I’ll see something, hear a word

That sounds different than it did yesterday

Doubt, Faith, Possibilities

Poetry

What if…

I never discover a solution

My battles never find resolution

My actions never match my words

My thoughts are always disturbed

I never write a famous song

I never find a place to belong

My worry doesn’t cease

My soul never finds peace

What if…

Promises are fulfilled

I perfect the art of being still

I continue to grow and gain

I find purpose in the pain

I gain insight and faith

I discover new strength

I hold fast to the truth

I stay beside You

What if…

I Want

Poetry

I want to create

Want to affect change

Want to add something to the day

That will make a different tomorrow

 

I want to make good things clear

And help bad things disappear

Want to smile with those in joy

And cry with those in sorrow

Work to Do

Poetry

There is much to be done

Don’t be distracted by fear

We have much more important things

To focus on here

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Ephesians 2:10

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Sin

Poetry

Giving into it

Made it stronger

Giving it attention

Made it hold on longer

Always seeking it’s own satisfaction

While pretending to be my friend

Yet every road it chose for me

Led to pain and destruction in the end

Now seeing, I’ve turned away

From sin’s wicked ways and selfishness

I’ll follow Your Spirit to overcome

This battle with my own flesh.

Colossians 3:5

Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.

Galatians 5:16-18

So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses.

Tether

Poetry

Tether me

Tether me

To Your side

For in my heart

Lurks desire

To go astray

Tether me

Tether me

To Your side

To keep me near

And protect me

From my own way

 

Romans 7:15

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

Friendship

Poetry

A true mark of friendship is when you become a better person because of it.  A true friend can love you where you are but also encourage you to change for the better. 

Proverbs 17:17

A friend loves at all times…

Proverbs 27:17

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:6

Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.