Reaching for answers that aren’t there
Wondering if my wishes will vanish with the wind
Trying to make sense of the madness around me
Wondering what picture I fit in
Trying to grab hold of pleasures that pass me
To celebrate love and warm hearts
Distracted by horror stories, fears and theories
Unable to decide how true they all are
Building strength to stand on my convictions
With limited info to decide what those should be
Working day to day just to earn that dollar
Wondering if this is all that will become of me
At what point in time will the big picture be clear
When will we know what we chose to believe was right
I guess not until the ever after
So we keep saying our prayers every night
Summer is here, let the classes and camps begin! This year the summer activities we signed our boys up for all happen to fall on the same two weeks. Coordinating all of the pick ups and drop offs has taken quite a bit of concentration and effort. Band for one kid at 10:20, Basketball for another at 1, basketball for the other at 2:20, Ninja training at 4 and carpooling a group of kids to drama rehearsal at 5 and 10 pm, and a partridge in a pear tree.
As I was preparing to let the boy’s dad know which pick ups and drop offs he could help with on Wednesday, my mind jumped to thinking about the details of Thursday. That thought felt quite overwhelming as each day this week has it’s own specific minute details. So, I decided we would just go over the details one day at a time. Let us get through the details of Wednesday and help that run as smooth as possible before we start working out and discussing the details for Thursday. Otherwise, our minds may explode.
And it dawned on me that God probably has that same desire for us when giving direction. Each day has it’s own challenges, it’s own details, it’s own decisions to be made and acted on. Yet, when seeking direction from Him, we tend to want to know our entire future. “Can’t You just give us the entire picture now?!” I know for me, I rarely stop and ask for just the directions He has that one day. No, I want to know exactly what the directions will be for the next and the next and the next instead of trusting Him for the big picture and walking with Him one day at a time.
Lord, You know the details and needs of this day. You know the challenges and decisions we will face. You see down the road and know what direction You would have us take today. When we turn to the left or the right, let us hear You say “this is the way, now walk in it”.
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” Matthew 6:34
“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21
I can’t tell you what to do
or what direction to go
Only Who will be there along the way
I can’t tell you
how to atone for your sin
The price has already been paid.
1 John 2:2 “And He is the propitiation for our sings; and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.”
The current carried me away
Until I could no longer see the shore
Drifting about without enough strength
To fight the sea’s pull anymore
I can forgive every wrong to keep my heart clean.
I can evaluate my failures to make changes I need.
I can not let the things around me make me bitter or lose my sense of peace.
I can keep writing about it all and hope that someone who needs a new perspective sees.
I can only control me.
“If you learn self-control, you can master anything.” – Anonymous
Gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
“He who angers you conquers you.” – Elizabeth Kenny
“The first and best victory is to conquer self. To be conquered by self is, of all things, the most shameful and objectionable.” – Plato
I have been a wild and tempest rage
Unstable as the sea
Letting the waves of my emotions carry me.
This is not the way to be.
Emotions not founded on truth
Nor evidence of a lie
Just reactions on which I shouldn’t rely.
Emotions are blind, foolish guides.
There was only one way out
I had to get stronger
No other way would do.
There were no exits
Available to the current me
I had to become something new.